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FUCK! So sick of being home. It’s all drama! I want to go to school and see him :( he makes me happy and life better. He is the only one that’s making my life better without him I’m not sure what I would do.

Im not sure what to do.. I like him a lot but am I ready for a relationship? I’m scared.. I have been thinking about it all day and still no clue what to do.. I’m scared of the breaking up part if it ever comes to that. I don’t want the drama and I don’t want to lose him.. Our friendship.. When he hugs me I feel so happy and special. All I ever do is want to see him and we text pretty much all day even when we don’t know what to talk about.. I need him but I’m scared.. Should I take this chance? Will it be worth it? What do I do?

Had an amazing party! So happy! The guy I like that likes me couldn’t go:( He makes happy treats me right :) But… No one understands why i won’t date him yet.. Right now…

Great it’s Chyennes, kyrstans,and my party day and it’s already starting out bad. My brother gets to go have breakfast with my grandpa and Kyrstan gets to get her nails done with my mom and grandma laura. It made me cry because I barley ever get to see my grandparents from Kansas City, plus they are leaving me out like I’m not important. And this party Chyenne and I have had little to no decision for only my mom and sister. I haven’t ask my dad why I was being left out with my grandparents because I’m scared he might get mad or I might cry. I feel like I’m always left out. Like they forget my existence.

Saturday is Kyrstan, Chyenne, and my party. Now I’m nervous. My dress is cute but I’m definitely changing after pictures. Working on decor after school.

Had to work out all hour for dance. Now my legs and arms hurt. Crappy day here I come.

Music was my get away today I felt so free and happy :)

I’m so tired and sad but I told a guy I liked him last night and he already told me he likes me he said he is the happiest man in the world lol.

I get to see the guy of my future before I have to go to class and see a guy from my past.

He is helping ease the pain.